Tag: śmieszne (best)

  • Tag: śmieszne
Japonia: They say Italian tanks can advance sixty kilometers a week on the battlefield, but after spotting English troops, they can retreat sixty kilometers in a single day.
Takagi Akito: Are you saying I have no sense for writing gags?
Miyoshi Kaya: Hm... Well, your face is kinda funny.
Komui Lee: It wasn't Komurin's fault. It was the coffee. Hate the sin, not the sinner. Hate the coffee not the Komurin
Marie Mjolnir: I'm... going to marry the toilet. Don't you see? The toilet will accept anything I do!
Excalibur: Number 75: Excalibur's birthday is to be celebrated grandly.
Hiro: When's your birthday?
Excalibur: Everyday!
Żółwi Pustelnik: A couple billion Zeni...?! Even if I went to a strip club everyday, I wonder just how many years it would take to use it all up...
Rintarō: Well, Rukako and Mayuri being together is perfectly all right.
Itaru: Suddenly, lesbians. Ha. Ha.
Rintarō: Control yourself. Besides, if there were lesbians in the next room, then this room would be...
Rintarō: How about adding a cute "meow" at the end of your sentences?
Kurisu: Why do I have to do that?!
Rintarō: Assistant, dear. You are the representative of Japan's maid culture!
Kanoe Yuuko: You saw everything... You saw the innermost places of my body...
Niiya Teiichi: Embarrassing? Aren't these just bones?
Kanoe Yuuko: This is the ultimate state of nakedness!
Vergo: I'll rip everything to pieces... Hm? How weird, I can't find my sword!
Monet: Isn't that because you're not a swordsman?
Vergo: That's right... I'm not a swordsman.
Katsuragi Misato: This is your home so feel free to take advantage of everything that’s here, except of course of me that is.
Shinigami: Since I'm wearing a mask, Justin can't read my lips, can he? Can you repeat what I say from now on, please?
Spirit: Why do I have to do something so troublesome? It's fine if he takes the earphones off, right?
Shinigami: Okay! Repeat after me!
Tsukasa: That, and don't forget the sound of the spinning drills! It's so scary!
Konata: But boys might like dentists and stuff, then.
Tsukasa: Why?
Konata: I mean, they say that a drill is like a guy's romantic ideal. I hear they're all about dueling robots that use drills as weapons!
Katsura Kotaro: I'm not Lupin, I'm Zura. Oops, I mean Katsura.
Hitsugaya Tōshirō: Kuchiki and Kuchiki aren’t here.
Madarame Ikkaku: Can you refer to them by first names, sir? You’re confusing us.
Gildarts: Wait a second! You're...
Cana: I know it's a lot to just accept...
Gildarts: Whose kid are you? Sara? Naomi? Claire? Feena? Mary? Eliza? No, no... The hair color's off... Emma, Lyra, Jean, Sydney, Kate, Yuko, Francoise...
Cana: You old geezer! How many flings have you had?!
Gildarts: I-I know! You're the spitting image of Sylvia! Like, you're the same sex!
Kagami: Did you tell a lie to someone today, Tsukasa?
Tsukasa: Yeah.
Kagami: That's unusual. What kind of lie?
Tsukasa: Just now, when I said I told a lie, that was a lie.
Miroku: On the way over here I thought of a strategy to keep the demon from choosing you all as brides. The demon only chooses single girls. In that case... Miss? Will you have my baby? Then the demon won't want you!
Monkey D. Luffy: She said she was gonna destroy Fishman Island because you don't have any candy! She's nuts! I mean, I could understand if it was meat! Right?! But relax! I said I'd fight back!
Tenten: It's pretty obvious we should've taken a left turn at the fork!
Shikamaru: No, if we'd taken a left... We'd have gone past a barbecue place that's out this way, and Choji would've been like...
Chōji: "I'm starving!"
Shikamaru: And he'd make us stop. But as soon as we walked in...
Man: "I'm so sorry. We're out of beef."
Chōji: "No, I've got a craving now!"
Shikamaru: And we'd be off to find a cow out in the mountains...
Chōji: "There's one!"
Neji: "Wait, Choji! That's a female!"
Shikamaru: Then we'd learn it's pregnant. And after its calf was born, Choji would be so moved by the miracle of birth that he'd be like...
Chōji: "I'm gonna live out here and raise cattle."
Shikamaru: He'd quit his life as a ninja to become a farmer.
Hikigaya Hachiman: The police don't mobilize until after an incident happens, and it's standard for heroes to show up late. But would anyone condemn them for being late? So, speaking paradoxically, lateness is justice...
Książę Hata: I make a rare appearance and this is how I get treated? I might as well transfer over to "D.Gray-man."
Saitama: In other words, you gotta train like hell to the point where your hair falls out. That's the only way to become strong.
Tsuna: What do we do about this?! After Mr. Kawahira helped hide us... How do we explain this to him?
Reborn: Just say that it burned down.
Taniyama Mai: Not only are you good looking, but you're very smart.
Shibuya Kazuya: Do you really think I'm good looking?
Taniyama Mai: Aren't you? Everyone was making a fuss over it.
Shibuya Kazuya: Hm... You don't have bad taste.
Takigawa Hōshō: This camera has had it, hasn't it?
Shibuya Kazuya: Oh, that's okay. It's insured.
Taniyama Mai: Oh, it is? Before, when you told me to be your assistant instead of paying you back for the camera I broke, did that just mean that you simply wanted some more help?
Shibuya Kazuya: You've gotten a little smarter, haven't you?
Izumi Konata: I may look like this, but I have about a hundred friends, and my social and bargaining skills are pretty high, and I join a party every night. With my allies, I work to bring back the glimmer in crystals to prevent the world from falling to ruin, and rescue the kidnapped princess...
Kagami: Come to think of it, Konata, you hardly forget stuff like textbooks.
Konata: I'm pretty reliable about things like that. I leave all the textbooks in the classroom in advance.
Kagami: S'up? How's your exam studies going?
Konata: I was just cleaning up my room right now.
Izumi Konata: There isn't much difference in appearance when you gain or lose a kilogram or two... Why does she look so ecstatic or depressed with a matter of a few kilograms? This is why girls are so...
Konata: Well, even though it's vacation, I'm going to see our teacher almost every day anyway.
Kagami: Why? You have summer classes or something?
Konata: We form parties in our net game and stuff. Our teacher is a wiz and I'm a tank, so when we pair up and I pull stuff, it's pretty good in terms of both xp and money. Though I'm always the busy one, and all our teacher does is click on one of the AoE skills. The other day, I pulled a ton of mobs only to find our teacher had fallen asleep at the keyboard, and it took me all day to earn my death penalty back...
Shippō: How can you stand there looking so blank?! Kagome is a beauty! So she may already have been eaten up!
Inuyasha: So... Tell me what's pretty about Kagome?
Myōga: I've been thinking this from before... but I think your perception of beauty is a little off.
Shippō: Aghhh! No wonder you look and dress so weird!
Myōga: I agree... A red outfit is a bit troubling. I think you should dress with a little more refinement.
Kagami: There's been more and more spam lately. It's a pain.
Konata: Oh, you should change your text address to something that isn't too obvious. I changed mine too.
Kagami: Something that isn't obvious? Like what?
Konata: My address is iluvgirlsinglasses in English characters. I would have preferred something like "maid," but addresses like maid-san and miko-san are so popular that...
Takara Miyuki: Come to think of it, when I went to an amusement park the other day, I had thought I was lining up for one of the rides, when I actually was in line for the restroom.
Izumi Konata: My dad, when he went to deliver his script after an all-nighter, got on an early train, overslept all the way to the final stop, then the train made a U-turn, and before he knew it, he had overslept again. He went back and forth many times. He eventually woke up closer and closer to the destination station, but he would always sleep past it by a very close margin... He was so tired that he just wanted to come home and sleep, but he couldn't manage to make his way home. And in the end, when he woke up with a start, he couldn't figure out which direction he was heading at the time.
Po japońsku "ichi" - jeden, "go" - pięć.
Kurosaki Ichigo: How many sets of a hundred pushups are you gonna make me do?!
Ginjō Kūgo: That was only your fourteenth set. [...] Why don’t you do one more set to match your name?
Kurosaki Ichigo: You had to say that! I hate those kinds of puns!
Ginjō Kūgo: Liar. I know you wear a T-shirt that says “15” on it.
Zonge: It's been a while since I've been to a city.
Henchmen: Yes, it's been quite a long time.
Henchmen: Uh, this is our first time coming to a city.
Zonge: I've gone to plenty in RPGs.
Inuyasha: That cocky bastard! Calling me a "mutt"!
Shippō: I don't blame him for getting upset at being called a "mutt." But he sure looks like one.
Miroku: This is a fine palm. You'll live a long life and have many children. [...] How about it? Won't you have one of my children?
Asuka Ryōko: Sensei... Kanzaki, Himekawa, Natsume, Shiroyama, Furuichi, Oga, Kunieda, Omori, Tanimura and Hanazawa are absent today because they have a stomach ache. I dunno anything else.
Komano Tsutomu: What's this about? I'm not going to quit.
Ayase Chihaya: But your grades went down because of karuta.
Komano Tsutomu: Well, yeah. But I still placed fifth.
Ayase Chihaya: Huh? Fifth? I was like fifth from the bottom.
Komano Tsutomu: I'm not so concerned about my grades these days. But you should be concerned, Ayase.
Myōga: How unusual for Inuyasha to contemplate about something.
Shippo: Now that's more like the Inuyasha I know!
Inuyasha: Whaddya mean?!
Shippo: Inuyasha deep in thought just isn't Inuyasha!
Myōga: He's right! Don't do something you're not used to.
Izumi Konata: I remember jotting memos on my notes earlier during class, because I thought I needed to remember it, since it was important, but since I was half asleep, I don't know what I wrote down.
O Kibie i Shino.
Narrator: These two are on the same team as Hinata and... Well, they're pretty minor characters, so that's about it.
Miroku: It's easier said than done, but don't worry too much. I understand what you're going through. Do you want to be alone, after all?
Sango: So... is that all? After all, considering the way you usually are... I thought after giving me the pep talk you'd do something lecherous.
Miroku: Sango. You should have told me sooner if that's what you wanted.
Miroku: We don't need payment for this. We just ask for lodgings, food and women.
Kagura: Sounds like Rocky.
Gintoki: She's playing a Rocky-ish theme.
Kagura: It's similar, but...
Gintoki: It's the stuff adults worry about, you know, like getting into trouble if you use the real theme. But why Rocky?!
Gengai: Just hearing it motivates you.
Lee: To think that our Guy Sensei is the Hokage!
Gai: Insolent fool! I am no longer Guy Sensei. I'm the Guykage!
Yui: Mama was talking about wanting to have many children. So how do you make children?
Asuna: W-Well Yui, to have a child, you have to open the options menu and go to the hidden options, then choose "Ethic Code Off"...
Kirito: Do you realize what you're about to explain!? Listen, Yui. To have a child, you must first get married. This unlocks an event where a stork brings you a baby.
Yui: How did the stork get the baby?
Kirito: The babies are born in cabbage fields. They are spawned from the cabbages.
Yui: So, if I was born in a cabbage field, does that mean I'm the child of a cabbage?
Asuna: Kirito, I knew it. It might be better to tell her the truth.
Kirito: Asuna, please don't overthink this!
Klein: No! The truth is that we are all human cabbages!
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