Tag: śmieszne (latest)

  • Tag: śmieszne
Mutta: I did two hundred, sixteen squats yesterday, and I feel just fine!
Mother: Two hundred and sixteen?
Father: Such a half-assed number. You couldn't manage four more?
Nanba Mutta: It would have been faster to crunch the numbers in my head! My mental abacus was too realistic! The beads kept sliding around because I was running!
Sakata Gintoki: When are they going to run the next Hanger x Hanger? Keeping me in suspense like that! They say "we'll be right back,"
Azumi: If I don't do something, I'll go crazy. I feel like I'm going to turn into a love monster!
Shinpachi: Well, you already are a monster, I guess.
Członek Shinsengumi: That sword is a Kikuichimonji RX-78! It has a built-in digital music player with a maximum playing time of 124 hours!
Sakata Gintoki: I've been reading Jump for twenty years. So I'll teach you about friendship, diligence and victory.
Otae: The most dangerous moment in hunting is the moment you've captured your prey. The bigger the prey, the more you let your guard down. Go read Hunter x Hunter, volume 3, before you try and take us on, old hags.
Shinpachi: Gin-san, nurses are really amazing, aren't they?
Gintoki: For example, take a woman who's a 7... Put her in a nurse's uniform and she becomes a 10.
Tōyako: Perhaps an enemy stronger than anything you have ever faced will appear. You can't survive without this ultimate technique. [...] In addition, if this anime is released as a fighting game, it'll be too plain if it doesn't have an ultimate technique. Think about the business aspect. Don't you know how hard a time Bandai's had?
Kondo Isao: We were probably blending rap and rock to sing for peace on Earth.
Katsura Kotaro: It's not rap, it's Katsurap, yo.
Do Heijiego.
Szef: I always thought there was something uneven between your appearance and working ability! You act like you can easily handle all of your cases! But why are you so useless?
Książę Hata: I make a rare appearance and this is how I get treated? I might as well transfer over to "D.Gray-man."
Kagura: Kintama!
Shinpachi: Kagura-chan, girls shouldn't say that word.
Kagura: Okay then, how about golden ball?
Shinpachi: That's not good either.
Okita: Die, Hijikata.
Hijikata: Die, Okita.
Okita: Die, Okita. Oops, I mean Hijikata.
Kagura: Where's Gin-chan? Is Gin-chan still asleep? Shall I wake him up?
Shinpachi: No, never mind. Gin-san's in kanashibari.
Kagura: Kanashibari? What is kanashibari?
Shinpachi: It's a ghost paralysis. You're awake, but your body can't move. It's a very convenient state for the animators.
Kagura: Convenient?
Shinpachi: Seems all the anime staff are taking a trip to Kinugawa Hot Spa, so they were talking about creating a 30-minute "Gin-san Meets Ghost Paralysis" episode.
Ane: What's the big deal about getting your butt groped? Do you know why there are two halves to your butt? It's so that you won't mind if someone touches one half.
Hoshimura Jun'ichirō: Boobs that don't shake aren't boobs at all.
Komatsu: Ah, Sanita!
Sunny: Sanita?!
Komatsu: You know, because you're wearing a Santa suit and you're Sani.
Yoshino: Were you browsing adult sites on Kirino's laptop again?
Kyōsuke: What are you saying, dear mother? Look at this pure blue sky which precisely reflects my heart!
Kanji: 人.
Hikigaya Hachiman: Well, they say the kanji for "people" is two people supporting each other. But did you ever notice one side is leaning on the other? I believe the acceptance of sacrificing someone is the whole idea behind "people."
Motoi: How come your hand is wet?
Killer B: Don't sweat the small stuff.
Motoi: And where's Naruto?
Killer B: I was a pissin' and he went a missin'
Hikigaya Hachiman: Hey! I'm really grown up! I grumble, I tell filthy lies, I do underhanded things...
Hikigaya Hachiman: These days, prep schools are granting tuition waivers for students with good grades. If I get that, and get tuition money from my parents, that money will be mine.
Hikigaya Hachiman: The police don't mobilize until after an incident happens, and it's standard for heroes to show up late. But would anyone condemn them for being late? So, speaking paradoxically, lateness is justice...
Hikigaya Hachiman: Well, worst case, I get serious. When I get serious, groveling and even boot licking is no problem.
Yui: Well, see, I lost in a game with Yukinon, so this is like my punishment.
Hachiman: Talking to me is a punishment?
Shinobi: During the attempt, the Nine Tails devoured Lords Kinkaku and Ginkaku... and then they were expelled.
Shinobi: Expelled? You mean from behind?
Issei: Damn it for sucking up energy from girls' boobs!
Kiba: But why the boobs?
Issei: Don't ask something so obvious! I'd love to join in and suck up Akeno's and the President's "energy"!
Asia: Please don't sympathize with the monster.
Issei: Sympathize? Preposterous! I'm completely jealous of the monster!
Tenten: It's pretty obvious we should've taken a left turn at the fork!
Shikamaru: No, if we'd taken a left... We'd have gone past a barbecue place that's out this way, and Choji would've been like...
Chōji: "I'm starving!"
Shikamaru: And he'd make us stop. But as soon as we walked in...
Man: "I'm so sorry. We're out of beef."
Chōji: "No, I've got a craving now!"
Shikamaru: And we'd be off to find a cow out in the mountains...
Chōji: "There's one!"
Neji: "Wait, Choji! That's a female!"
Shikamaru: Then we'd learn it's pregnant. And after its calf was born, Choji would be so moved by the miracle of birth that he'd be like...
Chōji: "I'm gonna live out here and raise cattle."
Shikamaru: He'd quit his life as a ninja to become a farmer.
Tenten: They're revolting...
Lee: Leave them to me. I am the Guykage's right hand man. I can quell this little rebellion. Everyone, please calm down. Let's talk this out..
Tenten: Wow, Lee's actually being serious.
Lee: ...with our fists!
Piccolo: Five pure-hearted Saiyans? Impossible. Gohan and Goten are the only two like that.
Bulma: How rude of you! Vegeta may be a lost cause, but Trunks certainly has a pure heart!
Piccolo: Someone who has a girlfriend at that age is impure.
Bulma: Whoa! What era do you live in, old man?! Aren't you just being jealous?
Chi-Chi: That's right, Piccolo! Are you saying Goku is impure as well?!
Żółwi Pustelnik: It's true that he's kind, but whether or not a kind idiot who's obsessed with fighting counts as being pure-hearted is debatable.
O Vegecie.
Beerus: His singing and dancing were both terrible. He'd be a fair match for you, Whis.
Cherry: What kind of work do you want?
Ataru: I won't ask for much, just ¥10,000 an hour, lots of fun, and something not tiring with lots of pretty girls. The location should be nearby, with meals included, and no overtime. Breaks should last about 2 hours. Afternoon tea is a given, and I can work any hours I like. And as a small request I'd like a paid vacation and family allowance, and housing allowance. And I'd like a bonus!
Yui: Mama was talking about wanting to have many children. So how do you make children?
Asuna: W-Well Yui, to have a child, you have to open the options menu and go to the hidden options, then choose "Ethic Code Off"...
Kirito: Do you realize what you're about to explain!? Listen, Yui. To have a child, you must first get married. This unlocks an event where a stork brings you a baby.
Yui: How did the stork get the baby?
Kirito: The babies are born in cabbage fields. They are spawned from the cabbages.
Yui: So, if I was born in a cabbage field, does that mean I'm the child of a cabbage?
Asuna: Kirito, I knew it. It might be better to tell her the truth.
Kirito: Asuna, please don't overthink this!
Klein: No! The truth is that we are all human cabbages!
Pilaf: Did you just fly over here, young master?!
Trunks: More importantly, I was trying to act cool and I went and said that you're my girlfriend...
Pilaf: Me? Really?
Trunks: Not you!
Shu: Me?!
Trunks: What?! No! The girl!
Mai: Me?!
Kamogawa: The opponent for your debut match has been selected. Nishikawa Gym's Yusuke Oda!
Takamura: What? Did you say Yusuke Oda?!
Makunouchi: Do you know him, Takamura?!
Takamura: Nope.
Kamogawa: I'd like to tell you the details... but I don't know, either.
Takamura: If you don't know, don't build up the suspense, moron!
Brook: If nothing is done, we're gonna end up back in the deep sea!
Robin: No, we'll hit a rock and drown before that.
Sanji: This is no time to relax and go whale watching! Even if we've escaped the whirlpool, we're still in plenty of danger here! First of all, did anyone get washed away in the current just now? Let's do a head count! Nami!
Nami: Here.
Sanji: Robin!
Robin: I'm here.
Sanji: Okay, next we've gotta get away from here! If any of those huge whales crash into us, the ship will be smashed!
Chopper: Count us, too!
Usopp: Sanji, the other 6 of us are alive!
Sanji: Nami, orders?
Nami: We're fine where we are.
Sanji: You here that? We're fine where we are, you idiots! Now, let's go whale watching!
Zenzo: It's the Jump double issue.
Gintoki: Jump double issue. Eh? Jump double issue?
Zenzo: Jump double issue?
Gintoki: Good grief. There's only one left...
Zenzo: What should we do?
Gintoki: I've already been to seven or eight convenience stores already. Everyone's free during the holiday season, so they are all sold out.
Zenzo: Yeah? Well, I've been to ten convenience stores.
Gintoki: Oh, if I include this one, I've actually been to 15 stores.
Zenzo: Well, my little boy, Hiroshi really wants Jump. Hiroshi is my son and only 5 years old.
Gintoki: My mom really wants it, too. She's sick. I wonder if she'll see it through the year... In fact, I'm sure she won't.
Zenzo: Well, Hiroshi is also going to die.
Gintoki: Hiroshi is going to die?
Lee: To think that our Guy Sensei is the Hokage!
Gai: Insolent fool! I am no longer Guy Sensei. I'm the Guykage!
Bulma: And who are these two?
Vegeta: Th-This is Lord Bills, and...
Whis: My name is Whis.
Bulma: People you know? Hey, I'm Bulma. I'm Vegeta's beautiful wife.
Beerus i Whis: Hello, Bulma.
Bulma: Well, they're certainly more polite than the people you usually hang around. But they don't look like they're from Earth. Aliens... You're aliens!
Beerus: Whis, how long will it take to get there?
Whis: Approximately, 26 minutes.
Beerus: I'll be able to watch 1 episode of anime.
Kagura: Sounds like Rocky.
Gintoki: She's playing a Rocky-ish theme.
Kagura: It's similar, but...
Gintoki: It's the stuff adults worry about, you know, like getting into trouble if you use the real theme. But why Rocky?!
Gengai: Just hearing it motivates you.
Lewis: See those two over there? They're going to Paris. They wanted me to introduce them to you guys.
Julia Silverstein: And you accepted a chocolate candy bar in exchange for an introduction.
Lewis: No. I accepted a whole box!
Do Takagiego.
Orihara Ichiriki: You're a freshman in college with a serialization and a wife?! Awesome! Too awesome! There really are a ton of strange manga authors!
Jaken: I want to shrink away every time we're attacked.
Rin: If you shrink any more, you'll disappear, Master Jaken.
Blood Leopard: My name is Blood Leopard. Call me Leopard, not Blood. If you want to shorten it, Pard and not Leopa.
Ataru: Lum, summon your UFO! Just let him get a glance of your UFO!
Lum: UFO, come on down!
Ataru: Well, teacher? This is Lum's UFO. Do you think that an Earthbeing would have such a thing?
Hanawa: I'm not well-read on the topic but is not "UFO" supposed to be...
Shutaro: Unidentified flying object. That's what it stands for, in other words.
Hanawa: [...] Mister Moroboshi, you are mistaken. Since that thing is already identified as Lum's, it is not an unidentified flying object. In short, it cannot be called a UFO.
Vergo: I'll rip everything to pieces... Hm? How weird, I can't find my sword!
Monet: Isn't that because you're not a swordsman?
Vergo: That's right... I'm not a swordsman.
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